Lillian this evening wrote out some of her favourite jokes.
The talking cockatoo
One day there was a police officer that got a phone call. She answered it, and, “Help! Help! Help! There’s a cat in the room! Come quick! There’s a cat in the room!” the police officer then said, “Do you know who your calling here? THE POLICE!!!! Now nick off!” the answer he got was, “Just, please! I’m begging you! Come quick! The cats coming closer!” The police officer sighed and said, “Ok. Were coming, but can I get your name?” the police officer said. “Cockie.”
Get it? Cockatoos can learn to talk like humans, so the Cockatoos scared of cats!
The silly parrot
One day there was a man called David, and he had a parrot, that could talk to him. One day, the parrot started saying very rude things to David and he got very upset. So he put the parrot in the fridge. The parrot banged and banged on the fridge door for ages, but suddenly stopped. David got a bit worried and opened the fridge door. Suddenly, the parrot was being so very kind to him and was saying sorry. But the parrot said, “One question, what did the chicken do to get plucked?
Get it? The parrot stopped banging because he saw the plucked chicken and thought the chicken did something wrong, so the chicken got plucked!
The grand opening
One day, in Vienna woods, there was a grand opening for a department store. On the first day, the grand opening, a rabbit came along and said, “Do you sell carrots?” And the seller said, “No, this is a department store.” And so the rabbit went away. The second day, the rabbit came again and said, “Do you sell carrots?” and the seller said, “No! This is a department store!” so the rabbit hopped away. The third day the rabbit came again and said, “Do you sell carrots?” the seller said, “NO, THIS IS A DEPARTMENT STORE!!!!! I TOLD YOU THAT!!!!! THE NEXT TIME YOU COME AGAIN, I WILL CUT YOUR EARS OFF!!!!!!!” And at that, the rabbit hopped away. On the fourth day, the rabbit came again and said, “Do you sell scissors? And the seller said, “No, this is a department store!!!!!” then the rabbit said, “Do you sell carrots?”.
Get it? There were no scissors to cut off the rabbits ears!